Teen Dating Is A Big Problem!

The Simple and Devastating Facts

The majority of teenagers in the United States have dating relationships and teens say dating violence is common:

§      In one survey, over 40 percent of male and female high school students said they had been victims of dating violence at least once

§      89 percent of teenagers beween the ages of 13 and 18 say they have been in dating relationships

§      50 percent to 80 percent of teens have reported knowing others who were involved in violent relationships

§      15 percent of teen girls and boys have reported being victims of severe dating violence (defined as being hit, kicked, thrown down or attacked with a weapon) in the past year

§      8 percent of 8th and 9th grade students have reported being victims of sexual dating violence

What do we mean when we talk about Dating Violence?

Dating violence isn't an argument every once in a while, or a bad mood after a bad day.  Dating violence (or relationship abuse) is a pattern of violent behavior that someone uses against a girlfriend or boyfriend.  Abuse can cause injury and even death, but it doesn't have to be physical.  It can include verbal and emotional abuse - constant insults, isolation from friends and family, name calling, controlling what someone wears- and it can also include sexual abuse.  It can happen to anyone, at any age, no matter what race or religion they are , no matter what their level of education or economic background.  Dating violence also occurs in same-sex relationships.

Teen Dating Violence Is . . .

§        Teen dating violence is abusive and violent behavior in teen dating relationships

§         It reflects the perpetrator's desire to control and dominate the victim

§         It happens in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships

§         It covers a wide range of behavior that includes verbal and emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and physical violence

Verbal or emotional abuse

includes name-calling, threats, screaming, yelling, ridiculing, criticizing, emotional blackmailing, and stalking

Sexual abuse

includes verbal sexual abuse such as sexual slurs or attacks on the victim's gender or sexual orientation, unwanted sexual touching and kissing, intimidation to force the victim to engage in any kind of sexual activity, and rape

Physical abuse

includes shoving, punching, slapping, pinching, hitting, kicking, hair pulling, choking, use of a weapon, and any other acts causing physical harm

The Victims Of Teen Dating Violence . . .

§         Teens in all ethnic groups, socioeconomic groups, and geographic regions experience dating violence

§         Both male and female teens may be victims-but boys inflict more serious physical injuries on girls than girls inflict on boys

Who is most at risk?

§         Boys are more likely to be pinched, slapped, scratched, or kicked by dating partners

§         Girls are much more at risk for severe violence, sexual violence, and injuries requiring medical attention

§         Girls are more likely to be punched and forced to engage in unwanted sexual activity

§         Some girls become pregnant as the result of rape or because their boyfriends won't let them use contraceptives

§         Pregnant teens are at greater risk for physical assault by intimate partners

§         Girls experience more psychological abuse from dating partners than boys

§         Young women, ages 16 to 24 years, experience the highest rates of relationship violence

Who are the perpetrators?

§         Both male and female teens commit dating violence but boys initiate the violence more often, use greater force, and are more repeatedly abusive to their dating partners than girls.

§         Almost three-quarters of perpetrators have also been victims of teen dating violence

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The Dynamics and Impact of Teen Dating Violence

The Experience of Teens involved in Dating Violence....

§         Dating violence may first emerge as occasional outbursts that both victims and perpetrators interpret as expressions of passion or attempts to improve their relationship

§         Many victims are threatened, criticized, and humiliated by dating partners-making them feel stupid, incapable, lazy, ugly, worthless, helpless, crazy, or trapped

In some relationships, dating violence may never move beyond emotional and verbal abuse. In other relationships, it may escalate from verbal abuse to physical and sexual violence, or involve a mix of physical, verbal, and emotional abuse from the start:

§         Many victims experience more than one type of abuse

§         In some relationships the abuse only happens from time to time, while in others it continues day after day without a break

§         The abuse can be minor or involve serious violence that gets worse and more frightening over time

§         Girls are frequently pinched, slapped, grabbed, and shoved but may also get pressured to engage in sex or drug taking, or raped

§         Perpetrators may use a variety of oppressive techniques to control victims-such as forcing partners to carry pagers or cell phones and respond immediately when called to say where they are and what they are doing

§         Sometimes there's a pattern-tension builds up, violence erupts, the abuser calms down, for a while everything seems fine, then tension increases again, and the cycle is repeated

§         Victims may or may not see a pattern in the abuser's behavior

§         Some abusers never apologize for their behavior. Others promise to stop the violence, give their partners gifts, and beg forgiveness-but if the victim accepts the apologies, it's usually only a matter of time before the violence resumes

§         Abuse and violence is often linked (directly or indirectly) to alcohol or drug habits- but the fact that an abuser is drunk or high can never excuse the behavior