Advocates Against Family Violence

Patterns of Emotional Abuse
Home | Shatter the Violence | TEAMaction Application | CAP Training | Safety Planning | Learn More About Domestic Violence | DV Fast Facts | Relationship Danger Signals | The Male Victim | Children of DV Statistics | Teen Dating & DV | Getting Involved | Contact Us | About Us | I Got Flowers Today | Bill of Rights | Other Links | Subscribe To Our Mailing List | Memberships

Emotional abuse always accompanies, and in most cases precedes, physical battering. Targeted, repeated emotional abuse can severely affect the victims sense of self and of reality. Here is a list of emotionally abuse behaviors abusers use against their partners:

         Abuser makes hostile jokes about the habits and faults of women

         Ignores the victims feelings

         Withhold approval as a form of punishment

         Yells at the victim

         Labels the victim with generally insulting terms: crazy, bitch, stupid

         Repeatedly delivers a series of insults specific to the victim and designed to inflict maximum psychological damage

         Repeatedly humiliates the victim in front of family members and others

         Isolates the victim socially, perhaps geographically as well (for example, by moving the family to a remote location)

         Blames the victim for all the abusers troubles and failures

         Threatens physical violence and retaliation against the victim, children or other family members

         Puts down the victims abilities as a mother, lover, worker, etc

         Demands all the victims attention and resents the children

         Tells the victim about his sexual affairs

         Constantly accuses her of having affairs, even when she does not have the desire or freedom to have affairs

         Gives the victim the silent treatment

         Threatens to abuse the children and/or get custody of them

         Tells the victim she must stay with him because she needs him and she couldnt make it without him

         Accuses the victim of being violent if she acts in any way to protect herself

         Questions her sense of reality

         Forces economic dependency: He prevents the victim from working either by forbidding her to get a job or by making her life so chaotic that she gets fired and/or he takes her money

         Puts down or denies the victims history, heritage, faith, values

         Hits the wall, not her, to display his power

         Breaks personal items that have sentimental value to her as a message that he can break her too

         Threatens, tortures or kills her/their pets

         Threatens suicide if the victim doesnt stay with him or do what he wants

         Spends hours cleaning guns or knives in front of them victim

         Threatens to kill her or her children

         Destroys victims self esteem

CLICK HERE to return to the home page for Patterns of DV

If your in or know someone in an abusive relationship.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1 (800) 799-SAFE (7233)
Because Family Violence Knows NO Boundaries!