Advocates Against Family Violence

Myths and Facts
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Fact, Fiction and Stats of Lesbian Battering


Myths of Domestic Violence for Lesbians


  Lesbian relationships can’t have domestic violence, because they are both women.

  Only the “butch” partner can be abusive.

  It must be “mutual abusive” or “fighting” if both partners are of the same sex.

  A physically smaller partner cannot abuse a larger partner.

  S/M is abuse and domestic violence.

  Drugs or alcohol are to blame for the violence if she only attacks when under the influence.

  There is no place for lesbian victims of domestic violence to get help.

  It’s not violence because she only threatens and puts me down. She has never hit me.

Facts About Domestic Violence

  Domestic Violence occurs when one person is clearly the victim. Mutual fighting is not domestic violence.

  Even though the perpetrator may be under the influence of drugs or alcohol when violence occurs, drugs and alcohol do not “cause” the domestic violence

  1 in 3 women will be assaulted by an intimate partner in her lifetime (30-50% of all women)

  30% of LGBT couples experience domestic violence

  3 out of 4 women murdered are killed by their partners

  Acts of domestic violence occur every 15 to 18 seconds in the United States

  30% of all hospital emergency room admissions are female victims of domestic violence

  Six million American women are beaten each year. Four thousand of them are killed.

  11 women die every day as a result of domestic violence


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By Kathy Belge, "Your Guide to Lesbian Life."